Gypsy
Gypsy: n. One inclined to a nomadic, unconventional way of life; A person who moves from place to place as required for employment, especially (a) A part-time or temporary member of a college faculty, or (b) A member of the chorus line in a theater production.
I think this is a pretty accurate description of my life. I hate to stay in the same place for very long...usually long enough for a particular purpose. Even if I don't know what the purpose is at the beginning, I know when the purpose has been satisfied and it's time to move on to the next locale. Since I left for college, the longest time I had ever lived in one place was almost 2 years, and that was because I purchased the house. I sold it almost a year ago, have moved to another house (which I rent for this reason alone), and am ready to move again.
Other than the fact that I'm ready to move houses, I have also recently felt that it's time to move on to something different in my life. I've dedicated the last 6+ years to law school and my career as an attorney. While I enjoy(ed) both, I think I'm ready for a new challenge. It's not that I'm bored, but I think that I've met my purpose for being a lawyer. I went to law school in the first place to prove something to myself. I am now at a large law firm with the best in the business. I feel as if I've proved something to myself and I'm ready to take on the next challenge. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I do see it happening. It's nothing personal against the people here, the work itself, or the job. I don't know how to explain that I feel that it's time to move on.
There are times that I've wondered to myself if I'll ever settle down in one place. I don't think that would make me happy though. Even though I'm structured and regimented, classic type-A personality, I require change. I think it's because if I'm not challenged I'm afraid of becoming complacent. Not that I have, as I've proved to myself by billing 240 hours last month, but I think complacency is my biggest fear for myself. I realize that I may never be the best at any one thing, and I never want to be famous, I have this deep down urge to always do better. I am never satisfied with good enough, even if good enough from me might be better than 99% of the rest of the world (I'm in no way saying that's what level I perform at).
Maybe it's my desire for competition. Maybe it's my desire to know more than what I already do. Maybe it's just simply that I haven't figured out what makes me happy. Maybe I never will. Maybe I want to see the world. Maybe I already have.
I think all I want is perfection from myself, but the closer I get the further away I want to be. I prefer to live on the edge to risk falling rather than feeling safe. I hate the easy road, there's no adventure there.
The one thing I'm sure of is that it's time to move on and continue on my gypsy way.
I think this is a pretty accurate description of my life. I hate to stay in the same place for very long...usually long enough for a particular purpose. Even if I don't know what the purpose is at the beginning, I know when the purpose has been satisfied and it's time to move on to the next locale. Since I left for college, the longest time I had ever lived in one place was almost 2 years, and that was because I purchased the house. I sold it almost a year ago, have moved to another house (which I rent for this reason alone), and am ready to move again.
Other than the fact that I'm ready to move houses, I have also recently felt that it's time to move on to something different in my life. I've dedicated the last 6+ years to law school and my career as an attorney. While I enjoy(ed) both, I think I'm ready for a new challenge. It's not that I'm bored, but I think that I've met my purpose for being a lawyer. I went to law school in the first place to prove something to myself. I am now at a large law firm with the best in the business. I feel as if I've proved something to myself and I'm ready to take on the next challenge. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I do see it happening. It's nothing personal against the people here, the work itself, or the job. I don't know how to explain that I feel that it's time to move on.
There are times that I've wondered to myself if I'll ever settle down in one place. I don't think that would make me happy though. Even though I'm structured and regimented, classic type-A personality, I require change. I think it's because if I'm not challenged I'm afraid of becoming complacent. Not that I have, as I've proved to myself by billing 240 hours last month, but I think complacency is my biggest fear for myself. I realize that I may never be the best at any one thing, and I never want to be famous, I have this deep down urge to always do better. I am never satisfied with good enough, even if good enough from me might be better than 99% of the rest of the world (I'm in no way saying that's what level I perform at).
Maybe it's my desire for competition. Maybe it's my desire to know more than what I already do. Maybe it's just simply that I haven't figured out what makes me happy. Maybe I never will. Maybe I want to see the world. Maybe I already have.
I think all I want is perfection from myself, but the closer I get the further away I want to be. I prefer to live on the edge to risk falling rather than feeling safe. I hate the easy road, there's no adventure there.
The one thing I'm sure of is that it's time to move on and continue on my gypsy way.
posted by Rocco @ 11:35 AM
1 Comments:
At 1:39 PM,
Ryan said…
For those of you playing along at home, that's 8 *billable* hourse a day, every day, for an entire month.
Impressive.
Also, insane.
I hope you don't have to do that too often.
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